What a year

Whew! What a year. 2009 is in no more, 2010 is here.

Have you stopped partying? *hic
Hey you, get me another drink! *hic

Seriously now… Welcome to 2010. I am officially dubbing this the year of  the Customer
If you ask a lot of Guyanese about the state of customer service and the culture of customer service you might get a few responses like these:

• Customer what? Dese people ain’t know about that!
• Customer Service?!! hahahaha that dead! People does behave like if you begging dem fuh sell you..
• Customer service dead budday, don’t even worry with dat!

These are some actual quotes, not just some random scribbles from my demented mind. And I believe it accurately reflects the current culture across Guyana. Customers no longer feel as though they are appreciated. They are no longer regarded as the ‘bread and butter’ of the business but rather a nuisance. Someone that came to interrupt whatever the sales person was involved in at that time…

Let me give you a recent example…

Last December I hopped online with my fresh-issued MasterCard to purchase toys as Christmas presents for my son and daughter.

Found two great items at ridiculously low prices and bought them instantly. Sent them to a mailbox service I use to have them delivered to me here.

On Christmas Eve I received  call from the service that my package (singular) was here. Arrived and realized that only my daughters package had arrived.
I was mad!  But… it’s was Christmas, the staff there had no control of shipping the items coming to them, they were just processing them so shouting and screaming at them would not have done any good.They told me another package was scheduled to come for me in the next week. I said OK and left. (with my one package)

On Old Year’s Day (or New Year’s Eve if that’s they way you want to go) I received another call from the company around 11am to collect the other package. I was also informed that they were closing at 1.30 on that day. I was busy at the time so I couldn’t rush down right away. When I arrived at the location at 1 pm, I attempted to pay for the shipping and duties with a cheque (I had made multiple cheque payments before to this same company).

The Supervisor collected the cheque and inquired from a a junior staff if he had accepted cheque payments from me in the past, to which he responded in the negative.
She them came back to me and told me that she would not be able to give me the package unless I have cash. WTF!!  Seriously WTF???!!!

>> But I have paid you with cheques in the past, what is the problem now?
Idiot Supervisor: But the guy here is saying that you have never paid him with a cheque
>> I have paid you with cheques twice in the past, even before this staff member started working here!
Idiot Supervisor: Well de account done gon so I cyant do nothin!
>> Listen I was here since on Christmas Eve day when both of my packages were supposed to be here and they weren’t. Now that they have arrived separately ad I have to pay separate shipping charges I did not complain now you are refusing to give me my package? This doesn’t make sense.
Idiot Supervisor: If you get cash I can give you the package.
>> It’s December 31st, I can’t get cash from the ATM now. Even if I tried I won’t be able to make it back before you close for the day and I would really like to collect my package.
Idiot Supervisor: Look look, is old year’s day, I ain’t able wid dis
>> Is this the way you treat all your customers? I have been shipping with this company for almost 3 years and now…
Idiot Supervisor: Listen I can’t help you. I ain’t able with stress today…

At this point I had to make a decision,
A: Get furious and trash the whole f^%king place
B: Save myself some stress and possible jailtime and walk away to deal with this another day.

I chose B.

Notice that throughout the entire conversation, neither the supervisor or the junior employee was concerned about my satisfaction. This is why people usually tell you that customer service is dead (because it is). Luckily I took a CPR course (which really means I watched something on TV when they were talking about CPR) and I am going to breathe some life into customer service. To be totally honest, my behaviour last year wasn’t much different from this, in some cases it was almost on par but no more.

No more… I hereby dub thee the Year of the Customer. The customer is not always right, but the customer is always the customer. They are the backbone of your business, without them there would be no business, just you dressing up everyday, sitting in an office twiddling your thumbs. While this might some like fun, there will be no income, no wages, no salary, no bonus… So go out there and do something nice for your customers. Smile when they walk in, stand to greet them, go that extra mile for them. It pays off in the end. More customers = more work = more money = more stuff…and that’s what it’s really about, isn’t it?

PS. I still have gone back to collect that packages as yet. I am dreading having to deal with that miserable woman again.

Tips and guest posts

Do you have a tip you would like to share with the few people that bother to read this collection of my rambling thoughts?
Send it to businessgy@gmail.com and we’ll share it.

Just don’t cuss too much.. you know, some people are prudes.. Not me of course, but those people.

On the road to mediocrity

My post today is inspired by some recent events, which I will most likely go into later.
It was also inspired by something I read on Seth Gobin’s blog a short while ago.

On the road to mediocrity

Along the way, we settle.
We settle for something not quite right, or an outfit that isn’t our best look, or a job that doesn’t quite maximize our talents. We settle for relationships that don’t give us joy, or a website that’s, “good enough.”

The only way to get mediocre is one step at a time.
You don’t have to settle. It’s a choice you get to make every day.

Hmm.. mediocrity. This is an interesting word.
I think sometimes even though we aspire to greatness, we don’t realise that indeed we do settle for mediocrity many times.

This happens, not only in our personal lives but also in our professional lives. We settle by not leaping out, in faith or in desperation :)
One of the best decisions of my life, was to leave my job and start working fulltime on my own company. I have never regretted my decision.

Yea, there have been some rough months, months when I wanted to shout and scream at all the clients. Smash my computer against the wall. Cry out loud and pull my hair out because of the stress, but… as with most things those times have passed and I’ve moved on to calmer seas…
I had to paddle hard to try to get out into this part of the open sea, and I’m still not as far out as I would like to be, but inertia helps me forward now.
My little credibility (which has taken some blows) helps me forward sometimes. Sometimes my smile does.. who knows.

I said to an associate of mine once, “If you want to catch the big fish, you have to pull up anchor and start paddling out into the open ocean. Only the small fish can be caught in the shallows.”
Sounds fancy eh? I say it alot because I think it makes me sound smart

Anyway… back to work…. What ever you do, don’t settle. Don’t just accept what you are getting right now. At least stretch out your hand and see what happens… Peace!

Hard work, lazy man – terrible combination

The days are longer, the fees are paid on time and with little or no fuss. I recently returned from a vacation in the Bahamas and last time I checked my accounts I was pleasantly suprised by how much money I have….

Aaahhh.. How sweet would it be to start a real blog post like that…

The reality is, the days are short as hell. Last Friday when someone mentioned the day I nearly shat my pants. I couldn’t believe it. I was operating under the impression that it was somewhere around Wednesday. The fees are so so… Some clients pay on time, some pay a little later than promised, but then there are some that just hang up the phone or give you the finger. Those are the ones that make life sweet. How boring would my life be without them.

Anyway, I’m rambling, the real intent of the post is to… I can’t remember. Right now I have a lot of work to complete, and a load of errands to run tomorrow. How the heck is it all going to be done?
Again, I stray. This is the story of my life. The inability or willingness to focus on one thing for too long. I think the medical term is ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder), in Guyana we call it Stinging-Nettles or in the creative industry we call it eccentric.

I’ll try to remember what this post was supposed to be about and compile it soon. I have lots of stories, some sad, some boring and some downright hilarious. Hopefully, my clients will never come across this blog and recognise their story and kick my ass to the curb.

Will I ever learn – Part II

Remember this guy?

So Andre has promised to check on the invoice for me.

Being the gullible trusting person I am, I expected Andre to be true to his word. I called his office a few days later to find out if I can collect the payment.
The Admin Asst. had no idea what I was talking about. I told her that Andre told me that he had already forwarded the invoice to her for processing. She said nothing was forwarded to her. What the fudge??!!!

Andre is at it again… I sent an email asking Andre what was the position. He reponded with something about his life being hectic (who’s isn’t?) or something like that. Come on Andre! All you have to say is that you didn’t a chance to send it as yet… The actual money is not as important as the principles involved in a respectable business trasaction.
I think the thing that irks me the most is that Andre and I are ‘friends’ outside of our professional relationship.

I contacted Andre again a few more times about the payment for the domains, the excuses were unique and equally funny each time.
Frustrated at the constant excuses, I decided to write an another email to Andre. (yea now I’m getting tough, hahah).
I carbon copied the letter  the Admin Asst. that was being blamed and the companys CFO.

Entire mail below

Subject: A simple transaction

Andre:

I am writing to inform you that I am very disappointed at how such a simple transaction between the two of us has become so convoluted and complicated (redundancy, because one didn’t seem to describe the situation well enough.)

It’s been exactly one month since I sent you the invoice for the domains you requested I register for you.
On multiple occasions, you told me that you were going to send the invoice to your Admin Asst. for processing right away.
After enquiring with your Admin Asst. more than once I was given the proverbial run-around.

I was told she hadn’t received it, then it was ready, then I was told it wasn’t signed, then I was told this, then that, blah, blah……the usual
I was transferred to the CFO today who very indifferently told me that I will be called when the payment is ready.

Had you been another customer and I had not known you personally I would have cancelled the domains a long time ago and not put up with this.

Again, a simple transaction.

I register a domain, I send you an invoice, you write a cheque, I collect it.

Bear in mind, the money is not substantive issue, rather the principles involved in a basic transaction.

regards…

Andre responded:

I will call you in a bit … Driving, will read details first …

The next day I was carbon copied when Andre was sending the invoice to his Admin Asst.

My response:

This, after I was told that it was prepared and waiting for a signature.

Andre:

My apologies. The email just got buried in my tragi-comic hurly-burly of life. The Admin Asst. did prepare a cheque based on her conversation with you and that was indeed waiting for signature. I expect that she should call you shortly … next time I make a request I will send an email copied to them so that your invoice goes to them and bypasses me altogether …

Many thanks still and apologies again …

I received the payment about 2-3 days later.
Finally… and just in time to buy some milk for my kids and some gas for the car. Thanks a lot Andre!

Lost a client

So, today I lost a client.
Clients come and go. Some stay with you for a long time, others leave for a variety of reasons. Cheaper rates, better quality, better service.
It’s all a part of the cycle…

However, when a client leaves you naturally ask yourself why. Why did they leave? What did you do wrong?
How can you improve what you’re doing and stop the others from bolting too. That would not be good.
The last thing you want is to have to go back to work for that boss mentioned in the previous post.
Plus, I doubt any of my bill collectors would be sympathetic. On a side note, I’m on a first name basis with most of my bill collectors now. They call me often enough.

Anyway, I’m not whining. Like I said, clients come and clients go. But the reason I lost this client is what is pissing me off.
I lost this client because I was lacking. Not skill, not talent, not enthusiasm.

I lost this client because I didn’t have a nice pair of creamy breasts for him to rub his stubble-filled face in.

That’s right, I lost this client to a female competitor. She is giving him a little piece on the side. MotherF*&@er!
At first I didn’t know why he left but I found out later. Nothing stays hidden forever – read here if you don’t believe me.

It’s ok, I’m not worried – I can deal with this – I’ve setup accounts at the major banks in Georgetown to accept donations.
I’m not going for the full transplant. I just need enough money for estrogen treatments. I just want to fill out my chests.. you know, a nice decent cup size. Yep! A decent cup size and my kids’ future will be secured.

Wish me luck!

There are those days

Being self employed is one of the greatest things in the world.
You have the freedom to work on your own time. Charge clients as much as you want. (or as much as they will pay hehehe)
You can spend time with your family, wake up late, go to bed late. It’s just wonderful. You are your own boss. You control your destiny (cue the music)

But there are those days…
Those dreadful days. They lurk in the shadows, like vultures, ready to devour you.
Those days when the work has piled up so high, it seems insurmountable. Those days when you task list is so long it could go around the world twice.

Those days when your liquidity is stretched to it’s limit and you long for the days of a guaranteed monthly salary. Those days when you wish you had a boss to blame your troubles on. But alas, your troubles are your own. There is no ogre to blame. You made them, now you must live with them.

Damn those days! Damn them to hell!
Is today one of those days? Maybe…

Hopefully by the end of one of those days you will remember the days of the past when you had a no-talent, clock watching, low-paying boss and be thankful for the days you have now. Hopefully…

Make decisions that make sense

I came back from a decent round of golf this after to be greeted by blackout. Beautiful Guyana!

I grabbed the wife and kids and made a mad dash for the car. The kids asked for French fries so I poked around my wallet looking for a few dollars to fulfill their request.

I pulled into the already crowded parking area of a fast food outlet, left the kids and the wife sitting outside and made my way to the counter to place my small order. (some chicken wings, fries and some drinks and juices – NO SOFT DRINKS FOR THE KIDS: by order of the wife)

I noticed the girl gave me a single fork wrapped in a tissue, knowing my kids and myself – I knew that would not nearly be enough to clean up our mess so I asked her for two more tissues. I don’t understand why they have to be hidden behind the counter in the first place. Anyway, she gives me one.

>> can I have another one please
Sir ah could only give yuh one
>> why
Because ah could only give yuh one
>> but I have two kids outside. I’ll need to wipe their hands after they’re done eating (why the hell I have to explain all of this to get a tissue is beyond me)

Sir ah could only give yuh one

I didn’t respond. I realize at this point she could not help even if she wanted to (maybe they count they tissues after they lockup) or she would not help because she is a big ugl…I don’t know
I don’t want to get too deep into that. The objective of this post is to say to busineses large and small MAKE DECISIONS THAT MAKE SENSE

It makes no sense saving 50 Guyanese cents on a tissue and losing a customer that just spent $2,000

Many busineses make similair decisions everyday. Not realizing that they are literallly chasing their customers away.

The dispatcher at the taxi service lies to you about the availability of a taxi. The sensible decision would be to say that none is available right away but one can be available in 15 minutes.
You customer will respect your honesty and if they can they will wait. If they can’t wait they will call another taxi service today but you will be the first one they call the next time the need a ride.

Even I am guilty of this sometimes with my clients but you may not be a lucky as I am to have such loving and understanding clients

Who do you think you are?

It’s Saturday… I just came back from playing basketball. This is the only exercise I get during the week. (Someting tells me you really don’t care about that so I’ll proceed with the story)
I think I was showering when my phone rang. Twice. When I was finished I checked the phone and saw a strange number.
Who could it be? Family or friend calling from a new number? New client?

I return the call…

Hello
>> Yes, we got your number from friend B. We’d like to see you about some work we need done.
OK, where are you located? I’m heading out in a few minutes maybe I can stop in.

Location received.  Plugged into the GPS (Guyanese Positioning System)

I arrive… enter the building… directed to the back.
I’m greeted at the back by a loud gentleman (gentleman being used loosely)

>> Is whey you went boy?! Why you don’t answer yuh phone?
I’m puzzled? I respond. I was unavailable. I didn’t have my phone with me.
>> Is a cell phone, yuh could carry it with yuh wherever you going?

Not wanting to appear rude, I fight back the urge to bitch slap this guy.
Instead, I respond politely… “ummm I couldn’t take it where I was, but I did return your call when I got to my phone.
>> Dat is not an excuse, I take mine with me everywhere…
That’s great… I don’t take mine everywhere
>> I does carry mine even when I going in the toilet
Excellent.. That is good…

We move on to discuss the job at hand…  (small job no doubt)

As I leave, he says, “And remember to keep you cell phone with you all de time, even when you going in the toilet”

I replay the conversation in my head as I drive to my next destination.
If this guy thinks he can talk to me like this now, what will happen at our 6th meeting?
This shit will most likely escalate… hmmmm

Needless to say, I never contacted them again.
This kind of behaviour raises the question: Who the hell do you think you are?
What is it that make you think you can speak to me like that? Because you are paying me a pittance for my hours of hard labour?

I refer you to a previous post here, that speaks about the lengths that small businesses like mine go to, to satisfy our clients needs.
Don’t take this for granted my friends. We don’t ask for special treatment, just basic respect.

It had to be said…

Well hello my friends, you thought I died, migrated, fallen asleep, gotten lazy.. take your pick.

Short version – I was busy.

One of the main reasons I began a blog is because I read (was told, heard – take you pick) that blogging is very theraputic. I think it is in some ways, but nothing beats telling that person that is irritating you exactly how you feel about them. 
Anyway, today is definitely one of those days I need theraphy, so I’m depending on you my little blog.

You know what? Some clients are just damn annoying.
Yes I said it! It had to be said. Let the chips fall where they may…
Some clients believe that they are the only person you are currently working for. There is nothing else on your plate so their request demand for an update every 15 minutes is completely reasonable.

ALERT! ALERT!
IT’S NOT REASONABLE!  IT’S NOT REASONABLE!  IT’S NOT REASONABLE!  

Come on, let’s be logical. If I have to stop every 15 minutes to give you an update how am I going to get the work done?

>> Umm Hello, yes sir, I just made the box green.
>> Hi, yes sir, I just brightened the photo.

>> Umm no sir, no updates. I was… umm…  I was.. I was  taking a sh**!

Secondly, believe it or not, you are not the only person I am working for. Don’t get me wrong, I value your business. Most of my clients have been with me for quite a while. But I do have other clients.

When quoting a client for a web design job I also include the expected time of completion. This time is based on a number of variables.
Some of which include the time I will need to spend doing other people’s work. What a shocker!
Wait a minute, did you actually think I spent all of those 21 days working on your site alone?! No my friend, I’m also completing another site, about to begin another one, plus I have about 3 or 4 other smaller jobs in the loop. 

I wish I would drop all of them to focus on your job alone, but my grocer has a stupid hangup with something called money and my kids have this silly idea about higher education. 

Opps.. I have to run, its been 15 minutes have to call in my next update…